That time my kid needed an epi-pen & a few thoughts on parenting

Parenting is like putting together a giant puzzle. Once you’ve got the puzzle all neatly put together suddenly the pieces come apart and you’re left starting over. Am I right?

I had plans to write a post about saving money for today but then we had an incident and I felt like updating you on Margs instead.

Margs had an allergic reaction to what we suspect are blueberries this weekend.

Scariest moment of my parenting life so far.

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In hindsight, this is likely not the first time we’ve seen a blueberry reaction. If you follow me on Instagram I posted about Margs getting sick two weekends ago – after eating blueberries. At the time, I chalked it up to an upset tummy and didn’t think that there was a food allergy reaction to blame.

You see, my kid doesn’t react to blueberries the same way a kid with a peanut allergy reacts to peanuts. Instead, Margs gets really red in the face, vomits and then appears to be perfectly fine again.

This weekend after licking a blueberry, she got red in the face and projectile vomited and that’s when I realized that all those time she’d been “sick” were similar. Similar in the fact that she’d eaten blueberries right before the incident occurred.

Thankfully we had a routine pedi appointment yesterday where we discussed what happened with her doctor. Apparently, allergies can present with facial redness and vomiting. Who would have known.

We’re now armed with 2 epi-pens and a referral to see an allergist to get to the bottom of this.

There isΒ  chance thatΒ  this was all a fluke but to be safe we’re having her tested. She’s fine with strawberries, raspberries and blackberries which is what raised a few question marks with her doctor.

Now,Β  back to the whole parenting is a puzzle thing.

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Apparently everything we’re doing with Margs is wrong. According to her pedi our sleep situation, feeding situation and play situation isn’t “ideal”.

I’m going to be brutally honest here- I was absolutely raging when I left the office yesterday. Despite her being super helpful with getting to the bottom of the allergy issue I felt like my doctor was criticizing my parenting choices.

On the drive home I rambled to Mer about how I feel like our doctor should be looking out for Margsy’s health rather than focusing on our parenting decisions.

In a nutshell her doctor says that we:

  • allow her to drink too much milk (she’s drinking approximately 24 oz of whole cows milk daily)
  • should stop allowing her to drink from bottles and start using sippy cups exclusively
  • stop using a pacifier altogether
  • let her cry it out and force her to sleep in her crib
  • force her to play independently for 180 minutes per day.

In a perfect world, my kid would sleep in her crib. Although I’m 100% on board with the idea that crib sleeping is the best – it’s just not our reality. Margs will scream for hours (we’ve tried), bang her head into the crib rails, try to climb out of her crib and eventually she’ll get so upset she’ll vomit. That is not ideal to us.

Have we missed the boat? Can you sleep train a 14 month old?

The rest of her suggestions seem crazy to me. I just feel like Margsy is just so so young. I cannot imagine taking her bottles away completely. She really enjoys her evening bottle – it’s part of her bed time routine.

I’m still trying to wrap my head around all of this because I felt like an enormous failure when I walked out of that office yesterday.

My goals are simple: I want to have a happy and healthy kid which she is right now. She’s content (most of the time), eats well (most of the time), plays well (most of the time) and sleeps well (most of the time).

Perhaps our parenting choices don’t align perfectly with the “ideal” parenting methods suggested by our pedi but not all children fit the “mold” so to speak and I’m not sure how comfortable I am completely overthrowing Margs sense of normal right now.

So a few questions for you fine folks today if you don’t mind

Do you/did you take parenting advice from your doctor?

When did you wean your child/children from their bottles?

 

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115 thoughts on “That time my kid needed an epi-pen & a few thoughts on parenting

  1. MythicalMagpie January 31, 2017 / 9:53 am

    Our son is 16 months old and he still gets a morning and bedtime bottle. Additionally, he has a binky. (Something our three year old regressed back to recently when little brother started “needing his”)

    As far as crying it out…I have never felt comfortable with that. Some people swear by it, some say it damages the child. All I know is that I was not meant to listen to my children scream themselves sick until they give up out of exhaustion. It has never felt right to me.

    I get flack for it all of the time. But I prefer a more gentle parenting style when it comes to things like that.

    What I recently told a soon-to-be new mom friend at her baby shower was, you’ll do what’s best for your family. What feels right. And that’s the best advice I can give,.

    Much love to you and the family and I am glad you were able to get Margs the epi pen just in case.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Jenny February 1, 2017 / 9:45 am

      Thank you! We’re glad to have the epi-pen as well.

      Also, thank you so much for sharing this with me. I felt like I should be on board with CIO but in my heart I know it’s just not a good fit for our family.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Ashley Gomez January 31, 2017 / 9:57 am

    Not a parent, but I can tell you my nephew slept with my sister until he was about 5 or 6. I don’t know exactly what triggered him wanting his own bed, but eventually, he did. I want to say around 2ish he had a little ceremony where he gathered all of the pacies, put and didn’t just throw them away but they put them in a box (that was thrown away when he wasn’t looking) and I think they “went to a baby that needed them” and he wasn’t upset about it….then noticed football players “with pacies” (actually mouth guards) and he was very confused πŸ˜€ I don’t have any bottle advice, but I can tell you I’m about to be 31 years old and I’m still using sippy cups πŸ˜€ Good luck! Don’t worry, everyone parents differently!

    Like

    • Jenny February 1, 2017 / 9:44 am

      I know that eventually she’ll outgrow it. I know plenty of children who slept with their parents until around that age and then suddenly wanted their own space. Thank you so much for sharing this with me!

      Like

  3. endardoo January 31, 2017 / 10:08 am

    My wife Anne and I see our family doctor as a resource; for things that call on his superior medical knowledge, we trust him and would follow his lead, take required medicine and so forth. But in terms of parenting choices we believe we know what’s best for us. Your expert led you to see the strong possibility that blueberries are causing your daughter’s presenting symptoms. Fine. You bowed to her expertise and that has paid off there. Everything else, as regards how much milk she is drinking etc is down to you, the parent. You know your child better than anyone else. You are the expert there

    Liked by 2 people

    • Jenny February 1, 2017 / 9:43 am

      I love that – a “Resource”. Thank you so much for sharing!

      Like

  4. liv inspires January 31, 2017 / 10:16 am

    wow, only reading about your doctor telling you all this stuff made me angry. and it wasn’t meant for me.
    my daughter is (almost) 3, she sleeps with me in my bed- though it wasn’t exactly what I had in mind from the beginning, it just worked out like that for us. and it still works. eventually, I believe she will want her own bed. last time I went to Ikea with her she started talking about her own bed on her own. so we might try some time soon. I tried letting her cry it out some time in the beginning, but I just couldn’t listen to it. also, it absolutely didn’t work. I don’t think a mother’s instinct to help your crying child is there for nothing.
    bottle wise… i can only tell you, we actually started only recently to use them! i’m trying to gently wean Liv from breastfeeding, since I’m pregnant with another child. also, we never used bottles until she saw her cousin started using one (because he absolutely resist eating ANYTHING else other than milk and he’s 2 years and 4 months), that’s when she started wanting a bottle too, so we started to use it as a night-ritual… we’ll see how long that will go.
    as the others said before. listen to your own instincts. that’s the best thing I’ve learned so far parenting-wise. don’t let anyone tell you how to parent… every family works differently and what may work for someone else might not work for you and your child. no theory about parenting works for everyone.

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    • Jenny February 1, 2017 / 9:43 am

      Thank you so so so much for sharing this with me!

      Like

  5. kiwinadian January 31, 2017 / 10:48 am

    My son is almost a year and a half and he’s still getting a bottle of milk before bed. It’s part of our routine. He likes it, I like the snuggles and it just works for us. Part of the reason he still gets it though is that he never eats much dinner no matter how hard I try. So at least he’s getting some nutrients from the milk. He also has zero interest in drinking anything out of a sippy/straw cup that isn’t water. So if he’s not having that bottle then he’s not having any milk at all, which is obviously not good. He is a yogurt fiend so he at least has that. I’ve started to slowly reduce the amount of milk from his bottle in hopes that in a few months they will be totally eliminated. But I need to figure out a new routine with him that signals that it’s bedtime. So, I’m not sure what the answer is on this besides going with your own mama instincts. My son also has soothers in his crib at night. We try to restrict the soother use to just the crib as he doesn’t need them during the day. We also have one clipped to his car seat which he only occasionally uses. This isn’t something I’m worried about breaking yet as I don’t feel it’s urgent.

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    • Jenny February 1, 2017 / 9:43 am

      It’s interesting you say that about dinner. Is your son drinking a lot of liquids throughout the day? Margs was drinking a lot of water and we recently started to limit her intake a little and her dinner appetite returned.

      Like

      • kiwinadian February 1, 2017 / 10:44 am

        We send a water bottle with him to daycare every day and some days it comes home pretty empty and some days it looks like he’s barely had a sip. They usually let me know if they have re-filled the water during the day so I know if his tummy is full of water and possibly he might not be hungry. I will keep an eye on that now though and see if there is any correlation with his appetite.

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      • Jenny February 1, 2017 / 10:50 am

        We’ve seen a pretty big change in her appetite since we reduced her water intake a little. Hope it helps!

        Like

  6. angeliasamodro January 31, 2017 / 10:55 am

    I really feel you. My son would cries for an hour and vomit too if i force him to sleep by his own.
    I believe that we-parents, have the instinct for our children.
    Sometimes the “ideal” guidelines couldn’t be applied, because every child is unique.
    They’re not robot.
    So for me, i would keep on mind what the pedi said, try to apply and if it doesnt work, i will try other thing that makes my baby happy.
    It’s not the “ideal” that is important. The most important thing is to raise happy healthy kid πŸ™‚

    Like

    • Jenny February 1, 2017 / 9:42 am

      Thank you so much for sharing!! You’re right the most important thing is health and happiness!

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Alisha January 31, 2017 / 11:36 am

    I really can give any a Solution on how to break your child off the bottle. My son was so easy when he turned when he just threw the bottle down in the pacifier he just quit using that at six months. But he replace the pacifier with his thumb. Which I’ve had a pediatrician say that’s not good for him but I can’t seem to break him from it.

    All I can say is that you can do what you think is best for your child. These pediatricians are just helpful with suggestions but in reality they’re just tearing our world apart. There are time i have came from the docter thinking to myslef, I am not cut out to be a mother. When I see my child happy it makes me feel great.
    I’m sure your kids will turn out just fine on how you would raise them and not how a pediatrician would think you should raise your kids.
    You can do it!

    Like

  8. allergyfreedomblog January 31, 2017 / 11:42 am

    Here’s my bit of mom advise and what worked for my girls but every kiddo is different for sure and what worked for us, may not work for another!

    Both of my daughters stopped taking a bottle at a year old. They had a fairly easy transition to a cup so that wasn’t a challenge.

    My kiddos also slept in their beds from infancy on. My first daughter had some colic issues so she slept on one of us sleeping in a chair for a few months but after that she slept in her own crib every night. My second daughter was in her crib as well. If they cried I would make sure that they were dry and not hungry, that their needs were met, give them a pat and some gentle words then left them. They may have shed some tears but they were never for very long and soon learned that they were cared for but it was time for sleep. Routines were very important in our house. Naps on schedule and regular bedtime routines. I think that made all the difference for us!

    As for taking your doctor’s advise, for the most part I completely agree with it. Not only had our pediatrician raised 4 of her own kids, she has helped care for thousands more through her practice. She certainly knew a lot more about parenting than I did and I welcomed her advise!!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Jenny February 1, 2017 / 9:40 am

      Thank you for sharing this! I really appreciate it!

      Like

  9. Tom Tasty January 31, 2017 / 11:45 am

    Hi Jenny! In general I am totally on your side when I see what the pedi suggested. (If I see any numbers I myself like to vomit like your daughet after blueberries). I am a young in experience father from Poland and I am so extremely surprised how things are different on the othe side of the pond. Things like Cry It Out are almost unthinkable in my country. What helps me personally is RIE parenting philosophy, which i sense may suit you too. Check janetlansbury.com and see whether you find any help there. All the best.

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    • Jenny February 1, 2017 / 9:39 am

      Interesting! I just assumed the cry it out method was suggested everywhere which clearly it is not! Cultural thing perhaps?

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      • Tom Tasty February 1, 2017 / 11:32 am

        Nope. The RIE approach is US based ironically. But as I read from Janet’s post, the cry it out, time out, measuring over adjusting to situation is far far more spread as typical in the US than in Europe. But the spectrum of dealing with various challenges is much broader. I just want you to feel you are not alone in disagreement with your pedi. Entire nations are standing behind you πŸ™‚ Follow and explore what your heart tells you

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      • Jenny February 2, 2017 / 8:34 pm

        Thank you so much Tom! I really appreciate you taking the time πŸ™‚

        Liked by 1 person

  10. t0ast3d January 31, 2017 / 12:10 pm

    As mum to two lovely and incredibly different daughters now aged 6 and 11 I can still remember those meetings with the health visitor that left us deflated! Both girls enjoyed their bedtime bottle until at least 3 and you will be unsurprised (I hope) to learn that they drink fine from adult cups now!! Even now, when my 6 year old is frazzled at the end of the day we sometimes offer warm milk in a sippy cup as a soothing return to those baby days.

    We were very fortunate to have girls who seemed to settle well in their cots, but did leave both girls grizzling for up to 10 mins after bedtime. Nowadays, sensory lights (6 yo) and us reading chapters of our favourite childhood books (11 yo) helps to smooth the way into sleep.

    I helped to edit a book on controlled crying and sleep training but it nagged away at me that many children’s personalities just aren’t suited to being left to settle themselves. I feel kind of guilty that it seemed my girls were! The one message that I took away though was having a lovely soothing bedtime routine – whatever you choose from bath to story to special songs to switching a light feature on – we still do our ‘winding down’ routine with 6yo. To be honest sometimes we need to remind ourselves to have a good hour’s wind down routine as adults, screens off at 9, candles lit, warm drinks. We live in such a frenetic world at times.

    From a mum of older babes, be reassured that your instincts can be trusted, it will work be OK – and as a parent you are always learning and adapting.

    X

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    • Jenny February 1, 2017 / 9:38 am

      Thank you so so much for sharing this. πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

  11. Orthodox mom January 31, 2017 / 12:19 pm

    Nope never took their advice because it was all based on this scale of numbers. Just nodded my head and said “yeah that sounds interesting ” and then honestly did my own thing. After a while I did find a different pediatrician that was more in the same mind set at me. At the end of the day they have charts to fill with ideal numbers that do not take a lot into consideration for a kid to kid basis. Follow your instincts when coming to parenting advice. It’s your kid and you know best. They are not the ones that have to listen to your kid cry for hours if that’s what you choose to do. Health advice is different but parenting not their job description. With my first son my pediatrician told me to only feed him 10 min and then have him wait for two hours in between with a pacifier. You can imagine how that experiment went.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Jenny February 1, 2017 / 9:37 am

      Yikes! 10 minutes!!! That’s crazy!

      Thank you for sharing this – such wise words!

      Like

  12. My Heart is in the Fridge January 31, 2017 / 12:28 pm

    If your child is happy and healthy then you aren’t doing anything “wrong”. You are doing what works for you. I am just now weaning my two year old off a bottle, up until now he refused to drink milk any other way. I am not a proponent of cry it out and the science behind it is actually pretty out dated (especially with a child under 2- it can be extremely damaging). While the safest place for any child to sleep is in their own bed- if the only way you all get some sleep is together then do what works for you. There is so much pressure to be the “perfect” mom/parent out there. There is no perfect- and kids aren’t all the same. You have to find what works for you and if you have a happy well adjusted kid and you aren’t sacrificing your sanity, then don’t fix what isn’t broken.

    Like

    • Jenny February 1, 2017 / 9:36 am

      This is so very true! Thank you for sharing!

      Like

  13. Heather Goodsell January 31, 2017 / 12:54 pm

    So first, I have never related more to a post than I have this one! I have a six month old, and every time I take him to the doctor I get the same lecture: “he should be sleeping on his own, let him cry” or “he has gained too much weight, you need to back off on the food and formula” or my favorite, when he was younger they insisted that I limit how much he ate. At 3 1/2 months he was eating 4 to 5 oz of breast milk or formula. My doctor insisted that was too much, and told me to only allow him to have 3. We tried that for about a week, and he. Was. Miserable!! So now, I am a lot more careful with what advice I take from my doctor. Jackson is about 50/50 when it comes to sleeping through the night. And we are sleep training, and yes, we have had some successful nights, but other nights are not so great. Cry it out works for Jackson, but it doesn’t work for everyone, I don’t care what a doctor says, every child is different.

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    • Jenny February 1, 2017 / 9:36 am

      We had a similar issue with feedings actually. We got a ton of mixed information in the beginning. A home care nurse told us to feed until baby was basically milk drunk while the pedi told us to limit her intake. It was difficult because Margs was clearly hungry. We then decided to feed her until she refused to continue eating because she was just miserable.

      I think ultimately we need to do what is best for our kiddos. Also, Margs was drinking roughly 4 oz of formula at around that age.

      Like

  14. Robyn January 31, 2017 / 1:12 pm

    I saw the epi pen on Instagram. I’m sorry you had the scare, but thankful you have an answer and a solution. Doctors have certain guidelines that they follow and recite to parents, but it doesn’t fit every kid. You certainly shouldn’t feel angry eaving their office either. I think the sleep conditions should be entirely up to you. However, the longer they co-sleep, the more it will affect your marriage and your quality of sleep. We switched to sippy cups around one year with no problem. I do believe that bottles could affect the health of Marg’s teeth, so that was a legitimate concern (milk sugars causing cavities and potential overbite) . Maybe talk to a dentist about it? Parents and doctors both make mistakes. Don’t get upset. Use that energy to research it on your own and do what’s best for your family.

    Like

    • Jenny February 1, 2017 / 9:34 am

      Thank you Robyn.

      You’re right! I think part of the issue was the delivery. I think parents in general are sensitive to having their parenting style scrutinized. I just wish she’d had said “maybe try reducing her milk intake” versus “you’re overfeeding her” ya know? Sometimes the delivery is the issue!

      With that said, we are going to implement some changes, gradual ones though.

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  15. inspirethemom January 31, 2017 / 3:23 pm

    So sorry that you all had that scare this weekend! There is nothing that makes a mom more vulnerable than when her kids are sick. We had a very similar situation this past year and I came home feeling like an absolute failure. When it came to their advice we decided to take the meat and spit out the bones. We ended up not taking all our peds advice and going with my gut instinct to switch to a naturopath. In our situation, it ended up being the best decision. Prayers for wisdom! You are a great mom ❀

    Like

    • Jenny February 1, 2017 / 9:32 am

      Thank you so much! We’re going to work through this and implement some changes but slowly. I would hate to disrupt her too much. Now, i’m trying to get an appointment with an allergist which is proving to be far more difficult than I imagined. The wait times can be as long as 18 months. I cannot even imagine how terrible that would be if we were dealing with a far scarier allergy like nuts or shellfish. 😦

      Liked by 1 person

      • inspirethemom February 1, 2017 / 5:35 pm

        exactly! Do what you feel is best. We had to avoid quite a few things till we got our son’s reactions under control. praying you can get her in soon! ❀

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      • Jenny February 2, 2017 / 8:32 pm

        What kind of reactions did he have?

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      • inspirethemom February 3, 2017 / 12:32 pm

        He had a rash over his entire torso for over a month, and certain foods would trigger it to flare up.

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      • Jenny February 4, 2017 / 8:36 am

        Oh yikes. I’m so sorry you dealt with that.

        Like

  16. BrizzleLass January 31, 2017 / 4:22 pm

    OK so I’m not a parent so I make no judgement on those who are. I do remember someone telling my sister very similar things about her parenting style to my niece at one point though and when she asked our mum about it (I was there) Mum said “as long as your daughter is clean, fed, healthy, safe and happy you are doing your job. You don’t have to overcomplicate it unless you choose to.”

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    • Jenny February 1, 2017 / 9:31 am

      This is the exact advice my mom gave me ❀ It is so very true. Thank you for sharing!

      Liked by 1 person

  17. slimmingbsimcha January 31, 2017 / 4:24 pm

    Well done for identifying the potential allergen. I’m sure you’ll be googling all related allergies now. I’m allergic to various fruits but blueberries are actually one I can have. Thank G-d she was ok.

    With regard to Dr’s advice…. Some is a case is “do what works for your family” and some is, “try not to give your child tooth damage or speech delays” (granddaughter of a dentist, bottles and dummies (pacifiers) were spoken about those terms past a certain age). But again, so what works for your family.

    Stay strong. Doctors don’t know everything.

    Like

    • Jenny February 1, 2017 / 9:31 am

      Thank you!

      We’re taking it in stride. We’re planning to make some changed but we can’t change everything on her overnight – she’d just be too overwhelmed and miserable! Thank you for sharing!

      Liked by 1 person

  18. the crazy nair January 31, 2017 / 4:53 pm

    I may not have any answers for you but I do want to say this. As long as your child is healthy and by that I mean not over or underweight, happy and overall active as a baby should be, don’t let anyone doubt your parenting style. Every child is different and so every parent has to adopt a different parenting style. My on would sleep the night in his crib at four months…That continued until his 7th month and then poof he will sleep nowhere near his crib let alone in it.

    Everyone kept telling me how I should stop my son from using his pacifier especially now that his teeth are making an appearance and I worried about it until a dentist friend told me that pacifiers actually give the jaws and gums good exercise…So then yay pacifiers…

    You do what’s best for your child…The Pedi should stick to doctoring rather than parenting..Jus saying

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    • Jenny February 1, 2017 / 9:30 am

      Margs was very much the same actually. She slept in the crib until roughly 6 months and then she just refused. I think that’s where we missed the boat so to speak – we should have been far more persistent with sleep training her then. Thank you for sharing! I really appreciate it!

      Liked by 1 person

  19. andra86 February 1, 2017 / 7:58 am

    Ridiculous! I am sorry the physician made you feel that way πŸ˜• You are your childs’ expert and advocate. Please don’t be intimidated or feel indicted by the ‘professional’ opinion.
    Our son is nearly 16 months. His crib is essentially a changing table, as he’said never spent a night in it. He still takes a bottle in the early mornings because he is still breastfed and I pump before work. He stopped the paci on his own, just luck I guess, I never had to take it away. As for the independent play thing, I don’t really get that either. What’s the object? Sounds like doc really is interested in promoting a premature independence.

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    • Jenny February 1, 2017 / 9:26 am

      I didn’t ask about the independent play thing to be honest. I just kept thinking my gosh she’d never be able to play independently for that long. I think you’re right though – the goal appears to be premature independence. Now that i’ve cooled off a little I see why she made these suggestions but I still feel the delivery was accusatory.

      Like

  20. enjoymyfamilylife February 1, 2017 / 9:33 am

    Only you truly know what is best for your child and family. Here in the UK we have health visitors who give the exact same advice, they are rather insistant that you follow these guidelines which I think is wrong. Each child is different, develops differently, every parent has their own parenting style and I dont think its right that professionals dictate to us what we do with our babies or children x

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    • Jenny February 1, 2017 / 9:56 am

      I suppose they are obligated to tell us? Maybe?

      At the end of the day, they are our children, we know them best and we do the best we can. I know the paci thing is important but I also know my kid needs it to fall asleep at night and then promptly spits it out once she’s sleeping. She never uses it during the day thus I don’t see why it’s so urgent to take it away from her altogether at this point ya know?

      Like

  21. autistsix February 1, 2017 / 9:39 am

    In my opinion; you need a doctor that will discuss things with you with an open mind. Our doctor said things like Alex shouldn’t still have a pacifier because it would interfere with her speech, BUT her anxiety was too severe so it was better to push speech practice while reducing use with positive encouragement. Every issue that was non ideal he would help us negotiate and compensate for our kids’ idiosyncrasies; and that was years before any of us were diagnosed. My mum had similarly open minded advice from a small town doctor 40 years ago. My advice would be communicate but if you can’t get a decent two way exchange get a new doctor, a good doctor is incredibly important. But you decide, you know your child best. πŸ™‚

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    • Jenny February 1, 2017 / 9:55 am

      I 100% agree.

      I generally like our doctor. She seems to be thorough and very knowledgeable about Margs’ health.

      Yet, I was totally caught off guard by how this appointment went because until this point she’s never been so opinionated about parenting issues.

      Liked by 1 person

      • autistsix February 1, 2017 / 10:04 am

        If you like her it might be worth talking more, much as we might hate being told what to do, do you really want a doctor that doesn’t care passionately about your daughter’s health. My doctor has made some mistakes due to over caution (being talked into sectioning me very early on by a lying colleague) but when we discussed it I agreed with the information he had and didn’t have he made the cautious decision. Good doctors get scared for us, we need to pool our information & sometimes we need to prioritize. And sometimes you have to tell the doctor that you are doing something they disagree with so they can continue to have all the information they need to help you. If she’s close minded leave, but if she cares it’s worth your time to try. Good luck (I’m 45 and a bit bossy, sorry).

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      • Jenny February 2, 2017 / 8:41 pm

        This is such wise advice! Thank you so so much!

        Liked by 1 person

  22. Vanessa February 1, 2017 / 10:05 am

    Hi, Jenny. Hang in there! I’ve got two elementary-age kids and I’m pretty sure my parenthood puzzle has never been fully put together. I’m getting used to the fact that it never will be. (It’s full of holes from puzzle pieces lost in the couch cushions or wherever it is that missing socks go when you can’t find them in the dryer.) Your heart and intentions are in the right place, so it’s a matter of finding the balance between the advice you’re offered and the instinct within you. I think it’s a very complicated and stressful time to be a parent because of the expectations and judgements we lay on one another. What a journey we’re on…

    Liked by 1 person

    • Jenny February 2, 2017 / 8:40 pm

      Thank you so so much Vanessa. It’s all about finding balance and following your instinct! πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

  23. Julie February 1, 2017 / 10:11 am

    I’m mum to two teenage daughter’s and remember one occasion leaving our routine Doctor’s appointment feeing the same way. You both know your daughter like no “professional” ever could. Just trust your instincts and I don’t think you’ll go far wrong.

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    • Jenny February 2, 2017 / 8:38 pm

      Thank you Julie! So right!

      Like

  24. whatcantheyeat February 1, 2017 / 10:33 am

    Hi! I have two children with life threatening allergies! It is the scariest thing! We carry EPI Pens and Benadryl everywhere we go now. I can assure you that I completely understand your frustration! Thankfully your doctor was helpful with the allergy but I too have been criticized by drs. Our old pediatrician told me that my son screamed at night because he was spoiled(really it was hidden dairy in his food. Once we figured that out slept all night) He also told me that I was paranoid over food allergies and that my daughter’s was probably me over thinking things. We quickly found a new doctor and found out our daughter is allergic to wheat, soy,eggs, dairy, oats, corn, and beef!
    Go with your gut and do what works for your family! Good luck!

    Like

    • Jenny February 2, 2017 / 8:38 pm

      Oh gosh! I hate that our old pedi did that! I’m so sorry!

      Like

  25. englishwithkirsty February 1, 2017 / 10:34 am

    I can’t comment on the parenting questions, but I do know about allergies and they’re not fun! It’s great that you have an idea what it is. I’ve had the redness and the swelling on my face and even though it doesn’t make me sick, it doesn’t look or feel good! I heard somewhere that you can grow out of allergies – I hope I do – but in the meantime you may have to check the ingredients of things to be sure. It’s easy to avoid the exact thing that causes an allergy, but sometimes extracts are used in other products as well. Good luck with it all.

    Like

    • Jenny February 2, 2017 / 8:35 pm

      What are your allergies?

      And thank you for your kind words!

      Like

  26. Lisa V February 1, 2017 / 4:09 pm

    My son has a mild peanut allergy that presents itself with vomiting as well. We have the epi-pen just in case. As for your doctor’s “advice,” I would say this: does what your doing work for you and your family? Then follow your instincts. My brother gave my mom a baby book to read when he had his first child since she would occasionally be babysitting. She was insulted and told him she’d read the baby book when the BABY read the baby book! LOL As for bottles, my kids are older (11 and 14), but I do remember that I still let them have a milk in the evening (I think they slept better), except I did switch to a sippy cup. I still cuddled with them while the drank, but they actually liked using the sippy cup. It’s hard when people (even doctors) tell you HOW to raise your kids when they aren’t with you day in and day out. I did let my kids cry themselves to sleep, but they didn’t cry to the point of vomiting. Do what works for you and yours. Best wishes!

    Like

    • Jenny February 2, 2017 / 8:33 pm

      I love the book story πŸ™‚

      Also, I had no idea that allergies presented with vomiting. I always assumed it was a swelling, trouble breathing kind of thing. If it’s a vomit reaction does that mean the allergy is mild?

      Liked by 1 person

      • Lisa V February 3, 2017 / 9:23 am

        Yes. And he was tested when he was 6 yrs old (he’s 11 now). I’m going to get him tested again. He can eat things that say they’re “made near peanut products” and he’s only done it once or twice (before we got him tested). I’m hoping he’s grown out of it.

        Like

      • Jenny February 3, 2017 / 9:58 am

        Interesting. We’re wondering if it’s a fluke or maybe certain types of blueberries? I’ve fed her blueberry muffins which were fine but fresh blueberries seem to cause a reaction. Weird right?

        Liked by 1 person

      • Lisa V February 3, 2017 / 10:11 am

        Maybe. I know the allergist will always error on the side of caution, but you should definitely ask them that.

        Like

      • Jenny February 3, 2017 / 10:13 am

        I absolutely will! I’m just totally spooked about how they’re going to test her. Mer had an allergy test years ago and I cannot imagine putting her through that. Mind you, he was tested for a bunch of potential allergins at the same time so they picked him quite a few times. I’m curious to see if they handle it different with very young children.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Lisa V February 3, 2017 / 10:21 am

        My son they just did a few scrapes on his arm. Didn’t even phase him.

        Liked by 1 person

  27. gracieonmars February 1, 2017 / 6:54 pm

    I don’t understand the bottle thing. It makes me kind of sad. I breastfed my son until he was 2 years old. Isn’t suckling comforting to babies? I have tried and failed many times to follow the doctor’s parenting tips. My son is 7. Is it even possible to sleep train a seven year old? lol

    Like

    • Jenny February 2, 2017 / 8:32 pm

      This is what I questioned too – some babies nurse until well over the age of 2 for comfort. Not sure if a BF mum would have been given the same advice ya know?

      7! Yeah, i’m going to be you in 6 years!

      Liked by 1 person

  28. Samantha Winchester February 1, 2017 / 8:37 pm

    She is your child. You should do what you feel is right. It seems the doctors these days push their opinions as “you need to” rather than “this may be better”. My children are having children and I’ve noticed this vs how doctors were when they were babies! The fact that you are worried shows how conscientious of a parent you are. AND am I the only one that had visions of Veruca Salt and Willy Wonka on the blueberry tale?! 😁 glad she’s ok!

    Like

  29. mammasquirrel February 1, 2017 / 10:37 pm

    Depending on the topic. I didn’t really “wean” my kids from the bottle. I was fortunate enough to nurse at bedtime, and honestly my kids never liked the bottle. It was nipples to soppy cups lol. For what it’s worth, or not, if she gets her teeth brushed after the bottle, is it worth the battle? I took my daughter off of her paci after her 3 year old visit to the dentist. I could see her teeth not shaping right. Brutal weekend, but we did it and I can see improvements in her mouth. Yes I wish I had done it sooner. Can’t change it. My daughter starts in her bed, and routinely by 11pm she’s snuggled up next to me. Leaving me grasping the 2 inches I have left. One day, she won’t be there anymore. Both my boys were the same way. They are fine. Do what fits you and your family, just be aware of things. Your doing great!

    And I’m sorry about her allergy!! Praying it’s nothing that sticks around!

    Like

    • Jenny February 2, 2017 / 8:30 pm

      That’s a really great point actually. We do brush her teeth so I’m not sure it would be any different than us having a glass of milk and then brushing.

      Also, it amazes us how us mums can manage to sleep in 2 inches of space haha

      Liked by 1 person

      • mammasquirrel February 3, 2017 / 8:16 am

        Right? And others wonder why we seem so tired lol

        Like

      • Jenny February 3, 2017 / 10:02 am

        for what it’s worth – I slept accross the bed last night πŸ˜‰ At 14 months she managed to HOG the entire freggin bed!

        Liked by 1 person

      • Jenny February 3, 2017 / 4:31 pm

        no. no blanket for me. πŸ˜‰

        Liked by 1 person

      • mammasquirrel February 4, 2017 / 9:44 am

        I have gone to bed with my bathrobe on cause I knew….lol

        Like

      • Jenny February 6, 2017 / 1:58 pm

        ha! that’s brilliant! Never thought of it!

        Liked by 1 person

      • mammasquirrel February 6, 2017 / 10:08 pm

        It’s cause I am a wiener and freeze all the time lol!!

        Like

  30. mraine33 February 2, 2017 / 12:54 am

    I know the weaning off bottles and pacifiers is a dental thing. The sucking motion, much like sucking the thumb, can make the teeth come in funny and mess with the jaw alignment. I don’t think the doctor is giving you bad advice, but maybe he should be more thorough in explaining WHY these things are important. Obviously they don’t want Margs eating too much because that leads to obesity, and as for the sleeping thing, there are dangers associated with co-sleeping and things like that. I understand why you are frustrated though, I know I feel the same way when I go to the vet with my cats (who essentially are my children). Sometimes you just have to go in and take it with a grain of salt and just raise your child your way. If things are working for you and you clearly aren’t abusing her or anything, there’s no reason to change what you’re doing. Now if you start to notice that she’s getting overweight, or having dental issues, or the sleep situations aren’t working out, then maybe you can switch things up. I think doctors feel like they have to give you certain information because as new studies come up, they have to be able to document that they provided “patient education” in order to get paid by the insurance companies. What you do with that education is then up to you. But hey, if your parenting style is working for you, just keep doing you!

    Like

    • Jenny February 2, 2017 / 8:27 pm

      Exactly. I think the delivery was a little off – it was more accusatory than I am used to! Thank you so much for sharing!

      Like

  31. aheartdivine February 2, 2017 / 1:28 am

    The very best expert for your child is you! Every little one is on their own time schedule and will get to the next stage when they are ready. Miss L is nine months and is determined to stand, walk, feed herself and drink from a glass like the rest of us. She is happy to fall asleep in her own bed but always ends up migrating to ours in the wee hours. The most important thing, just like you said, is that they are happy, healthy and developing. Peace to you xox

    Like

    • Jenny February 2, 2017 / 8:27 pm

      Yes! Health and happiness first!

      Like

  32. JUsT Us February 2, 2017 / 3:05 am

    Bucked teeth do not come from nursing.
    One of my kids weaned himself at 10 months and one at 24 months. The 10-month weaner needed $5,00o in braces, the 24-month needed $9,000 in braces. It is a genetic defect, not a bottle or boob issue.

    Let me state something: Your child will not go on their first date with a bottle or in diapers or while sleeping in your bed.

    They are babies.

    What works for you, is what happens in your home. Caring for your child, and watching what they need and when is the key to content and centered children.

    Was all of the dating information that you were given as a young person, pertinent to every person you dated as a young adult? No. It is guidelines!

    Some kids are more sensitive, teflon, emotional, stoic, solid, mushy, affectionate, aloof, adventurous, timid, etc. than others. Eye your kiddo and adjust fire as needed… it’s a 20-year commitment to do this!

    As long as you can objectively see that the goal is a successful adult – you will do fine.

    This week, my 21-year old wants me to talk on the phone with her while she fills out her taxes (for the first time for herself) and I will do so. She is doing fine. She just needs me to “hold her hand”… and I am glad to do so because it makes her a much stronger person to know that she has backup. I will always be her backup.

    Use your own judgment – stop second guessing yourself because of “professionals.” No One Knows Mags Like You DO!

    Like

    • Jenny February 2, 2017 / 8:26 pm

      I agree completely – I suppose I was just shocked by how the appointment went.

      Email me with any other questions you have about cerclage ok? When is your next scan? AND are you on p17 injections?

      Like

  33. Torgeir Grevskott February 2, 2017 / 7:12 am

    Thank you for sharing. Keep up the good work. I will check in to follow your exciting journey through life.

    Like

  34. newagemomblog February 2, 2017 / 10:08 am

    Allergy moments can definitely be a tough moments to encounter, but they can definitely be managed. This is especially true when you have a caring mommy. Thank you for sharing

    Like

    • Jenny February 2, 2017 / 8:25 pm

      Yes! We’re hoping to get to the bottom of this really soon. Waiting on an appointment with an allergist to get this sorted out.

      Like

  35. Raspberriez February 2, 2017 / 11:43 am

    Oh my goodness, so scary! Glad you started connecting the dots on what was causing your babe to be sick. I’ve never even heard of a blueberry allergy!

    Like

    • Jenny February 2, 2017 / 8:24 pm

      I’ve never heard of it either to be honest! My doctor looked a little perplexed as well – google tells me it’s very rare but does happen!

      Like

  36. Andi February 2, 2017 / 3:53 pm

    Don’t beat yourself up. Those issues your doctor “complained” about our common for ALL parents and really, most of it is personal opinion. I worked for 15 years in the WIC Program here in the U.S. and my focus was infant, childhood, pregnancy and postpartum nutrition. I can’t tell you how many times I was asked for my “professional” opinion on sleeping. I don’t have one. But I do have a “mommy” opinion. My 8 year old daughter was like Margs – you couldn’t let her cry it out because she could cry for hours and get sick and then I felt even worse! She slept in a toddler bed next to our bed almost until she turned five. She hated being alone and is still that way, to this day. When her sister turned one and was sleeping through the night, we moved them into the same room and they’ve shared ever since. They are now 4 and 8. My 4 year old was SO much easier than my 8 year old when it came to night feeds, sleeping through the night, giving up her bottle and being independent. She would be just fine with her own room, but my 8 year old is not You do what you need to do for the health of your family – emotionally and mentally as well as physically! Hang in there. You are NOT a failure!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Jenny February 2, 2017 / 8:24 pm

      I’m so new to all this that I didn’t realize just how common these issues really are. Thank you so much for sharing.

      Like

  37. brownlowbrown February 2, 2017 / 6:02 pm

    My son is 2.5 years old and he still has a bottle at bed time, where he goes to sleep in his own bed. Then in the middle of the night he bounds into our room and we haul him in with us. We tried letting him cry for a while, we tried taking him back to his own bed, but it just left all of us so miserable and exhausted – and putting him and ourselves through that isn’t good parenting in my books.
    When he was about 18 months old and we were having trouble getting him to settle at night I read an agony aunt article online (and have since never been able to find it again!) where a mother asked “I can’t get my child to sleep at night without sitting by her bed, then can’t get her to settle in the night when she wakes without bringing her into my bed – what should I do?!” and the author wrote back and said “You should sit by her bed until she sleeps and bring her into bed with you when she wakes in the night- there is nothing wrong with this if it makes you all happy.” A simple mindset shift that really helped put things into perspective!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Jenny February 2, 2017 / 8:23 pm

      I love this. Thank you so much for sharing.

      Like

  38. lonlon558 February 2, 2017 / 9:53 pm

    No reason to answer those two questions you asked at the end of your post: you are doing a fine job. Do not let that doctor bring down your INTUITIVE knowledge of your daughter and her needs.

    I often stress, ‘am I doing this right? Am I screwing them up?’ and my parents always reassure me that everything will turn out fine. The kids are growing up in a loving, happy, healthy environment where we DO OUR BEST to take care of them and take care of them well. We teach them, we read to them, we try to get them to eat their vegetables, and we smother them with love.

    Yes, I think we do make mistakes sometimes, I think we could do better, but that’s also how I know I’m a good mom – because I’m always trying trying trying to do better better better. At least I care.

    And caring is what makes you a good mom.

    Don’t let ANYONE else tell you how to raise your daughter. If you want advice and you ask someone or a friend or your mom or even your doctor about something specific, okay then. But all that unwarranted stuff, it’ll drive you crazy.

    Take care and hug that little baby-baby as tight as you can πŸ™‚

    Like

    • Jenny February 3, 2017 / 10:04 am

      I love this. Thank you so much for sharing. And yes health and happiness are the most important – how we achieve it might be different but doesn’t mean that one way is superior to another.

      Like

  39. lonlon558 February 2, 2017 / 9:53 pm

    p.s. You’re doing a great job, Mom.

    Like

  40. unsupermoms February 6, 2017 / 2:15 pm

    Hi! I have just started blogging through WordPress too, and one of the many drafts I am writing is about how doctors shame parents. I think it is outrageous!! You (and your partner) are the ones who get to make the choices about how to raise your child. You are the ones who have to do all the hard work, stay awake all night listening to your baby cry, make all the tough decisions in the moments… So you get to choose what works for you. And NO ONE can tell you its “WRONG”! Advice and information is one thing, shame is another. I think you’re doing fine and agree that you should hug your baby tight and do what you have to do to make it through the days and nights.
    Oh, and in case you’d like to follow me, my blog is unsuper.org
    Yours in parenting,
    C

    Like

    • Jenny February 7, 2017 / 9:57 am

      Thank you so much for stopping by! I’ve got only one little so this idea that pedis pass judgement on parenting is so very new to me. I’m looking forward to reading your thoughts on the issue as well!

      Liked by 1 person

  41. angiebreault February 7, 2017 / 10:58 pm

    You are the one who has to live with your parenting decisions, and so it’s important that you feel comfortable with them. Opinions change all the time. Even things that doctors tell you often change in regards to what you should be doing and when. You need to trust your instincts as a mother, because every child is different and every family is different. There is no one size fits all when it comes to raising children, even if all the rule books and rule makers say that there is. πŸ˜‰ Also, I’m fairly certain your child will not be a teenager who drinks out of a baby bottle or sleeps in your bed, even IF you don’t rush to make the changes now. And one more thing that I just can’t refrain myself from commenting on. 180 minutes of independent play each day seems like an INSANE amount of time to me. I feel like touch and interaction with people would be extremely limited by forcing that much play each day. I have six children and have never heard such a suggestion from anyone before! Sorry, I’m not saying that it IS crazy. I’m just saying that, to me, it SOUNDS crazy. πŸ˜‰ In short, trust yourself. πŸ™‚

    Like

  42. the stressed nest February 15, 2017 / 7:47 pm

    I’m glad your pediatrician armed you with an epi-pen. Always, trust your “mom” gut hopefully the allergist will be able to get to the bottom of it for you. Allergies and the possibility of allergies can be so stressful good luck.

    Like

    • Jenny February 17, 2017 / 7:48 am

      Absolutely! Looking forward to getting some definitive answers about her food allergies!

      Liked by 1 person

  43. Sonyo Estavillo March 2, 2017 / 5:30 pm

    First of all, I’m sorry for your scare it must be terrifying to hear this allergic reaction to blueberries!!! Ugh. Anyway, I have 21 month old and she does sleep in her crib. But, we co-slept for 6 months and at 6 months she was able to sleep in her crib. But, we would rock her in our rocking chair until she fell asleep and then put her down. I guess starting early is easier to break them of the habit of crying and bang their head on the rails. Sometimes my daughter does this, as she just did during nap time at which point, I just get her up and not force her to sleep longer. Especially if she keeps crying and I can tell when she’s not going to go back to sleep. And she hates drinking milk the only thing she will drink is water or breastmilk from the real thing and not pumped in the bottle. So, I’m still trying to get her to stop breastfeeding, but she still wants to. I think by 2.5 we might need to have a “talk” hopefully she’s talking by then and can understand. πŸ™‚

    Like

    • Jenny March 3, 2017 / 6:03 am

      We had the reverse issue. She slept just fine until approximately 6 months and then out of nowhere she decided she wouldn’t sleep in her crib anymore!

      Liked by 1 person

      • Sonyo Estavillo March 3, 2017 / 1:27 pm

        Wow, it’s interesting how every child is so very different. You never know, so there isn’t really one set of rules to follow. πŸ™‚

        Like

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