Highs & Lows – Week of February 20th

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This post contains affiliate links, which means I receive a small commission (~4%) if you make a purchase using the links to any of the products mentioned below.


Morning!

I can’t believe it’s time for another installment of Friday Highs and Lows. If you want to read the previous weeks you can go here and here.

Highs

Building up my consignment store cash flow! With the weather warming up I realized that it was time to top up our consignment cash flow so I could start working on creating a spring and summer wardrobe for Margs. So, I spent a few days sorting through Margs’ winter clothes and toys and ended up dropping off a bunch of things that will help cover the cost of buying her enough outfits to last us through the summer. In this haul, I brought over her Infant Car Seat (Graco Click Connect 35 if you’re curious), a V-Tech Sit to Stand Walker, a fisher price ride on toy, and 2 boxes of clothing she’s outgrown.

We found a new groomer for our pup. Our dog is the anxious type and we’ve been struggling to find a groomer that would be patient with her. After trying a few different ones we finally found a lovely lady who grooms pups from her home. Puppy had an amazing experience and didn’t want to come home! Here she is with her new “summer” haircut!

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Absolutely gorgeous weather! It’s been sunny and well above freezing all week and it’s unbelievable how a little sunshine can improve my mood and energy levels. Margs and I have been taking advantage and getting out for walks. The sun is setting later (around 5 pm) which makes the days longer and so much more cheerful. Spring is on the horizon and I couldn’t be happier! Sunday is supposed to climb up to 14 degrees!

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Lows

Margs ate laundry soap at the end of last week. My mum was here visiting and we got caught up in a conversation and the next thing we knew Margs had powdered laundry soap all over her hands, face and inside her mouth. I washed her mouth out and promptly gave her a bottle of milk. I then spent the next 45 minutes trying to get through to Poison Control and then a local emergency health line in our area. Both agreed that an ER visit wasn’t necessary and that it was unlikely she ingested enough to cause issue. I was told to watch her for any unusual symptoms but that she should be just fine. Thankfully, Margs experienced no side effects. We’re now in the process of child proofing this place – she’s so mobile and fast that we’re not taking any chances.

Basement reno costs are getting a little higher than we anticipated. I haven’t discussed much about what’s going on within this TTBH have I? When we bought this home, we knew we were going to transform the basement into a small 1 bedroom apartment for my mum. Her lease is up at the end of April and she’ll be moving in with us. Work on the basement has been slow because we have an arrangement with a contractor where we are saving on labor costs (FYI we bartered a hot tub for the labor costs of finishing our basement. Said tub came with the house and we did not want to keep it). But, because of this the process has been long and drawn out. We’re nearing the end which is wonderful but I was calculating the costs of materials and my heart sank a little. We’re about 3000$ over budget but considering we aren’t paying anything for the labor I suppose it’s still an awesome deal.

We’ve reverted to co-sleeping. I hate hate hate that we’re back here. We had made so much progress with Margs and then one night she just would not have it and exhaustion on our part took over and we put her right back into our bed. Since then, she’s refused to sleep anywhere but our bed. We’re going to keep trying but this week she’s slept in our bed more often than not. This kid seems to have some sort of sensor – the moment you try to put her down in her cot she freaks out.

What are your highs and lows for this fine week of February 20th?

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What makes you an awesome parent?

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I got treated to a coffee date with one of my dearest girlfriends Saturday. After speaking to her Friday and letting her in on my need for a break she asked me on a date so we could chat and catch up. Since our move last summer I haven’t really been able to see my friends on a regular basis – we’ve all got a ton going on and with this new distance between us it’s a little difficult to get together as much as before. So, this was an extra special treat. Naturally, the conversation came full circle and we ended up talking about our kiddos (break right?). I told her about my blog and how I write about how damn hard parenting is sometimes and she stopped me dead in my tracks by asking me what makes me an awesome parent.

Well shit, do you know that I really didn’t know how to answer her? I just looked at her dumbfounded and in that moment I realized that I don’t give myself enough credit for the parts of motherhood that I’m actually pretty good at.

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I don’t have it all figured out- nope, not even close but I am doing the absolute best I can. There are days that I consciously ignore my kids saggy diaper butt to avoid another diaper change meltdown. There are also days where she watches more T.V than is recommended and we don’t delve into book reading, creative activities or momtastic activities like foot painting or glitter gluing.

There are days that my brain, heart and body are just tired and you know what, I think that’s okay… sometimes.

There are bad days and there are good days and on those good days I’ll tickle my little girl until she laughs so hard she cries. Those days are the ones where I let her explore, make messes and let her just be her – in all her messy glory. Those days actually happen more often than they don’t. So, maybe I’m being a little too hard on myself.

After much thought and reflection this weekend I came up with a random list of reasons why I’m an awesome mum to Margs. I think “us” Mums/Dads are far too hard on ourselves and often fail to see and acknowledge what a good job we do most of the time. We are good enough – we just have to stop, take a deep breath and appreciate it more often, don’t we?

Let’s have at it, shall we?

/ I am an awesome Mum because I’ve created and maintain a safe physical and emotional space for Margs

/ I am an awesome Mum because I love Margs unconditionally and always put her first

/ I am an awesome Mum because (despite my type A personality) I’m allowing Margs to “fall” so she can teach herself to get right back up again (both figuratively and literally)

My friend reminded me to stop and pat myself on the back every now and again so now I’m going to do the same for you – some days we just need that extra shove to put it all in perspective.

Now, I absolutely, categorically insist that you share why YOU are an AWESOME parent too!

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Highs & Lows – Week of February 6th

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This post contains affiliate links, which means I receive a small commission if you make a purchase using the links to any of the products mentioned below.


I’m so so excited that it is finally Friday – it’s been a rough week anxiety wise and I’m really looking forward to having Mer around to give me a small break this weekend. I think I might head to a local coffee shop tomorrow and treat myself to a cappuccino and a much needed emotional/physical break from my role as mom. I feel awful that I’m so desperately craving a break from my kid but it’s just been such a rough week (sleep training, teething, general fussiness coupled with my own anxiety issues) that I just need some time to sit and just be me and not mom for a few hours.

Highs

[1] Margs slept in her pack and play 4 nights this week. This is HUGE since we couldn’t even put her down anywhere but our bed without having her wake up screaming. She hasn’t slept through the night yet but the physical separation means that Mer and I are finally sleeping in the same bed again. We’ll take it – even if it means getting up 2-3 times per night to help soothe her back to sleep. Eventually, we hope she’ll be able to self soothe. But, for now we’re celebrating this small victory.

[2] My meal prep on Sunday has made dinners this week an absolute breeze. I prepped a cottage pie, baked fried chicken, pork chops in a white wine mushroom sauce, Mediterranean chicken, rice with lentils, broccoli rab & green beans. Dinner has been basically been heat and serve – there’s no mess to clean and it makes our evening routine with Margs much more relaxed an easy to manage. Is anyone interested in the recipes? If so, I’d be more than willing to post them on the blog. Just let me know!

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[3] We celebrated Margs’ 14th month birthday this week. It’s truly amazing to watch her grow. It seems like she’s changing by the minute. She’s currently walking, talking and exploring like it’s nobodies business. She continues to amaze me every single day.

Lows

[1] I’m feeling rather isolated most days which isn’t good for my anxiety because it gives me far too much time to think and feed the spiral. I should try and immerse myself in our small community and start going to play groups with Margs again or find another activity we can join that will give us both the opportunity to socialize but winter in the Canadian north sucks guys – it makes going out so difficult.

[2] I’m over winter. I’m nursing a very sore shoulder thanks to having to chip 2 inches of ice from our driveway. I used to love winter but now it’s just hard. The cold, the unpredictable weather, the crazy amounts of baby gear needed to keep Margs warm and safe. Some days it’s just easier to avoid heading out at altogether. It’s pretty but totally not practical.

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[3] I’m struggling with my own sleep patterns. I’ve never been a great sleeper but recently it’s been increasingly difficult to fall asleep at night. I’m sure our horrible sleep situation wasn’t helping. There are far too many nights where I find myself awake binge watching Netflix hoping I’ll doze off. Some nights that means no sleep until 3-4 am.

[4] I’m still trying to find an allergist to have Margs tested. I’m so incredibly frustrated that one, not one clinic has called me back and that two, we might have to wait up to 2 years to find out if she is in fact allergic to blueberries because the wait list is that long. Socialized health care really sucks sometimes. In the meantime, we’ve got an epi-pen and we’re avoiding blueberries. I’m just worried there are other allergies we don’t know about.

So there you have it, my highs and lows for this week!

What are your highs and lows for this fine week of February 6th?

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That time my kid needed an epi-pen & a few thoughts on parenting

Parenting is like putting together a giant puzzle. Once you’ve got the puzzle all neatly put together suddenly the pieces come apart and you’re left starting over. Am I right?

I had plans to write a post about saving money for today but then we had an incident and I felt like updating you on Margs instead.

Margs had an allergic reaction to what we suspect are blueberries this weekend.

Scariest moment of my parenting life so far.

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In hindsight, this is likely not the first time we’ve seen a blueberry reaction. If you follow me on Instagram I posted about Margs getting sick two weekends ago – after eating blueberries. At the time, I chalked it up to an upset tummy and didn’t think that there was a food allergy reaction to blame.

You see, my kid doesn’t react to blueberries the same way a kid with a peanut allergy reacts to peanuts. Instead, Margs gets really red in the face, vomits and then appears to be perfectly fine again.

This weekend after licking a blueberry, she got red in the face and projectile vomited and that’s when I realized that all those time she’d been “sick” were similar. Similar in the fact that she’d eaten blueberries right before the incident occurred.

Thankfully we had a routine pedi appointment yesterday where we discussed what happened with her doctor. Apparently, allergies can present with facial redness and vomiting. Who would have known.

We’re now armed with 2 epi-pens and a referral to see an allergist to get to the bottom of this.

There is  chance that  this was all a fluke but to be safe we’re having her tested. She’s fine with strawberries, raspberries and blackberries which is what raised a few question marks with her doctor.

Now,  back to the whole parenting is a puzzle thing.

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Apparently everything we’re doing with Margs is wrong. According to her pedi our sleep situation, feeding situation and play situation isn’t “ideal”.

I’m going to be brutally honest here- I was absolutely raging when I left the office yesterday. Despite her being super helpful with getting to the bottom of the allergy issue I felt like my doctor was criticizing my parenting choices.

On the drive home I rambled to Mer about how I feel like our doctor should be looking out for Margsy’s health rather than focusing on our parenting decisions.

In a nutshell her doctor says that we:

  • allow her to drink too much milk (she’s drinking approximately 24 oz of whole cows milk daily)
  • should stop allowing her to drink from bottles and start using sippy cups exclusively
  • stop using a pacifier altogether
  • let her cry it out and force her to sleep in her crib
  • force her to play independently for 180 minutes per day.

In a perfect world, my kid would sleep in her crib. Although I’m 100% on board with the idea that crib sleeping is the best – it’s just not our reality. Margs will scream for hours (we’ve tried), bang her head into the crib rails, try to climb out of her crib and eventually she’ll get so upset she’ll vomit. That is not ideal to us.

Have we missed the boat? Can you sleep train a 14 month old?

The rest of her suggestions seem crazy to me. I just feel like Margsy is just so so young. I cannot imagine taking her bottles away completely. She really enjoys her evening bottle – it’s part of her bed time routine.

I’m still trying to wrap my head around all of this because I felt like an enormous failure when I walked out of that office yesterday.

My goals are simple: I want to have a happy and healthy kid which she is right now. She’s content (most of the time), eats well (most of the time), plays well (most of the time) and sleeps well (most of the time).

Perhaps our parenting choices don’t align perfectly with the “ideal” parenting methods suggested by our pedi but not all children fit the “mold” so to speak and I’m not sure how comfortable I am completely overthrowing Margs sense of normal right now.

So a few questions for you fine folks today if you don’t mind

Do you/did you take parenting advice from your doctor?

When did you wean your child/children from their bottles?

 

My authentic experiences of motherhood

When I was pregnant I never gave much thought to the actual act of parenting. I didn’t read parenting books, I didn’t look ahead, I didn’t sit there and sketch out a plan of how I would raise my little girl. My history is 100% to blame for my reluctance to face the fact I was actually going to become a Mum to a living child so as you can probably imagine I had no clue what was awaiting me when she joined us earth side last December.

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I spent so much of my time convincing myself I’d lose her that thinking through what parenting actually meant to me was unfortunately not my priority. When she arrived I was frazzled, insecure and terrified because I had no idea what I was doing. I had no idea how to care for this perfect tiny human.

Enter the internets where motherhood and parenting are glammed up to look like the interior pages of some glitzy mommy magazine . I perused pinterest, facebook and instagram and was horrified by how “put together”, “perfect” and “easy” all these expert Mums made the task of caring for a little one appear.

I later started interacting with other mums. Some rainbow mums, some not and it became pretty clear that my feelings of exhaustion, insecurity and terror were far more common than the interwebz led me to believe. Motherhood is hard work and the internet can be a bold faced liar making it appear to be an easy task. This idea that moms need to have it “together” all of the time is absolutely ridiculous and so incredibly damaging to moms like me who sometimes struggle with the demands of motherhood.

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So, I wanted to share my authentic experiences of motherhood with you today and I hope you’ll share yours with me too. Some will probably make you cringe- others laugh? (hopefully) and I hope that if you’re a new mum feeling like you’re drowning this post will help you realize that you’re not alone.

My kiddo is nearly 14 months old and some days I’m still left wondering what the hell I’m doing.

/ Wishing time would stop and simultaneously speed up at the same time. Being exhausted all the time often leads me to wish the day away, then I feel guilty because I should focus on savoring every single moment. They’re only little once right?

/Abandoning my personal care regime and strangely being okay with it. Pre-baby I was insanely vain about my hair, makeup and clothing. Today, my hair is always tied (in the early days I legit developed dread locks because of how many days I went without actually combing it – I’ve since gotten a shorter more manageable cut), I wear zero makeup and live in mom tights. Most days my legs are unshaven and my socks don’t match.

/ Prioritizing happy and quiet baby over clean and freshly changed baby. Sometimes she’s so peaceful and content playing with books or puzzles that I leave her sitting in her poop to avoid a diaper change mega meltdown. She absolutely hates having her butt cleaned – think arched back, red faced screaming hates it.

/ Pretending to be fast asleep when Margs wakes up for a night feed. I don’t always do this but some nights I’m just so tired that I hear her and pretend I don’t. Mer is a saint and takes care of it. I think he’s on to me too.

/Heading out for 30 minutes of free time in the evenings to just get away and clear my head. Drug stores are my favorite because I peruse the aisles, try on different perfumes and listen to music on my i-Pod. Oh my god. I cannot believe I’ve actually just told you that!

/Awkwardly bursting out into children’s songs at the most inopportune times. I recently started singling “if allllll the raindrops were lemon drops and gum drops – ohhhhhh what a rain that would be” in the grocery store. Outloud. By myself.

/ Planning to do creative, stimulating, entertaining and otherwise amazing activities with my kiddo only to burn out by 1pm and abandon ship. I try my best but some days the best I can do is play puzzles, read books and hope for an extra long afternoon nap.

/ Loving this child so fiercely and deeply it hurts. Margs is my blessing, my miracle, my world. It doesn’t  mean that parenting her is easy though. Some days are awesome and other days are hard but ultimately I’m learning to be okay with doing the best I possibly can. Motherhood aint about perfection folks.

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Now tell me, what are your authentic experiences with motherhood?